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(taking a cue from a friend here, with the + and the - and all)
(+) I have awesome friends, online and offline. AWESOME, awesome friends.
(+) my Presto plug-in water kettle has an automatic shut-off for when I get distracted and it boils dry. Thank you. Presto you have saved my kettle.
(+) because I like to stock up I have plenty of lovely teas and evaporated milk and good honey for said teas, and also Chai Maté.
(-) about two weeks ago now I injured my right shoulder at work. around 4 am after I did my checks and chores (in home care we do a lot of the care of the patient's environment, too- laundry, cleaning, etc.- and because I have AWESOME quietness skills I can do a lot while the lad is sleeping without waking him or his family) I sat down to chart and my right bicep felt very tight and sore, as though I'd been lifting 100lb sacks for an hour straight. I rested it for half an hour. The tightness and soreness abated. But at the end of my shift, when I have some amount of lifting to do, I found my right arm was weak.
what I SHOULD have done, in retrospect, is stop by work on the way home, report it as a work-place injury, and start worker's comp right away. Even though I was exhausted, it was going to be HOT, I needed to get to sleep, and starting the whole w/c thing takes HOURS. HOURS.
what I DID was go straight home, put ice on it, and try to get to sleep before my bedroom hit 95 degrees. And kept working. Compensating. Because, as smart as I am, as much as I would have advised anyone else to report it right away, I. Kept. Working. Because that's what nurses do. We compensate, and we keep working. We Do.Not.Stop. Oops.
So, not better by last week. went to see my doc, she wrote me off for a week, NO LIFTING so no modified duty. And in talking with her I realized I have to make the worker's comp claim. If my agency paid sick time, this wouldn't be such a big deal. If I'd saved more last year, not just enough to cover Europe but some cushion, too, it would not be such a big deal.
HOWEVER. I have started the process now. So at some point there will be some money. I've called my creditors (the few I have- student loans, etc.) and set up grace periods/deferments/lower payments/canceled accounts. I've got food and some money for fresh if I can't get it from gardens/freecycle, and enough gas in the car to get me to and from Physical Therapy. So it's ok for the next coupla weeks, and I'll know by then how it's going to play out, when I can work, and what W/C is going to come through with.
so (+) I have a job with W/C as a benefit. *whew*
(-) AND (+) EnjoyIt! is closed while I rehab. (-) because it would be a bit of income. But (+) because I can double check all my listings, see what's not selling and decide if I want to donate it instead, and work out (in my head) how I want to organize the books for easy shipping (which changes as they sell, as my stock gets smaller). So, that's good.
(+) I have this opportunity to live one-armed, mostly, for some time, so I am learning as much as I can about that limitation while I can't avoid it. I'm well aware it's not the same as a permanent change in my ability. But I'm hoping I can take the time I'd spend whining about not being able to have my own way all the time and use it to learn about myself, about this limitation, and about working with/through it, instead.
thus: (+) I have managed to get the old sheet off the bed, the new one on, and the laundry into the washer! (This is epic today, when it's usually zoop! zoop! with my magic wand, and all done.) I have soup, self-made with beans from one friend's garden (they dried on the vine, he was going to toss them out! oh no you don't! so I have shelled beans! one-handed! and made yummy soup) and fresh veg from another friend's and left-over rice from the housemates, and it is good. I have become adept at resetting my cellphone every 30 mins to remind me to take 5 mins for arm/shoulder exercises.
and I HAVE AWESOME FRIENDS. yes, I do. *nods* So, on the whole, the Early Autumn State of the Slashfairy is more + than -.
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and so very little brain available for sorting the words to begin writing about anything.
mostly because it's such a relief to be (nearly) done with uni. i'm terrified of the student loan debt, but it'll be manageable- i just need to remember to breathe, and it'll work out. these last two papers are coming along, finally, thanks to help from friends (what WOULD we do without friends, i ask you?), and i expect to have them done well enough and in the mail to the professor by friday.
but i'm also rendered wordless (as i babble on) by such an intense love for being alive. i want - well, not to live forever, that'd be a lot of work, and lonely, after a while- but i want to live for a good nother 20 years or so, and i want it so MUCH- desire's dangerous, it's a hook dangling us over disappointment and failure, regret and depression- but oh, oh! i do love being alive, and living, and having a life to live in, and i just- i have to say so this once, early in the (christian, western, revised-several-times) calendar year.
anyway. /sentimentality- i'm tired, tonight, and that always makes the barrier between pleasure and weepiness very thin for me (if that's even what it's between... ah, rambling).
short list of what i'm up to:
catching up with the people i've let drift away (or drifted away from) over the last two years. you know who you are, and i swear i'm here, coming back to you.
keeping healthy/getting healthier (today's not-sleeping-well aside).
finishing these papers, and thus, uni.
earning/saving/appreciating money.
getting 'life-chore' things taken care of- car serviced, medical appointments made, storage pared down, fun had.
writing.
seeing family- younger son was here for christmas; older son and grandson came a few days ago, and we went to see Yes Man (fun, that); and am gathering up scraps of old favorite fabrics to send to my mother for the quilt she's making for my brother's new baby-to-be.
reading for pleasure, watching ken burns, taking care of my tiny winter garden (jeez, the frost didn't help last night, did it? lol! i know, i know, it's not snow. thank god- we've no sanding, no snowplows, no snow tires).
taking this marvelous education i've gotten, and the life experience i've had during the getting of said education, and creating an even deeper and more textured understanding of life.
so. that is all. i didn't participate in any holiday fic-things, nor have i really written any fic/the little au for a while, but there's wonderful things out there in the holiday fic-world, and the men are still around, talking quietly amongst themselves.
fandom brought me to lj, lj brought me to a new understanding of how big and how small this world is, and that's brought me all of you.
blessings on your heads, y'all.
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| 2007-09-24 14:05 |
| frustration and appreciation |
| Public |
| All Songs Considered / Andrew Bird |
| money, move |
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First though, no news is good news about 'my' girl, the younger of the twins I take care of. Since there's been no call from the family or the day nurse I'm assuming that she's still stable in the pediatric ward in the hospital and neither in surgery nor in ICU.
Second, the frustration is about money- not having enough to move this weekend, pay rent next week, AND get the computer back from the shop [which I will be able to do NEXT Friday, but not until then. sigh.]
Third, the appreciation is about having enough money to both pay for the move [two guys and truck for four hours, to move things from old place to one of three other places: new place, storage, or second hand store] and the rent on Monday, and know that there WILL be computer money by next Friday. And appreciation for the university computer lab. Now that I know it'll be that long, I'm just going to splurge for the $2.50/day for parking so I can have access as I need it before and after work, and when I can't sleep, instead of being all over-identified with the 45-min free parking spaces. 5 days at $2.50/day isn't even a whole hour's wages. Surely I can do that.
And that's the updatage. Packing goes on apace, though the pace slowed a bit this morning as an anxiety attack set in around the money thing [sigh, i want it all NOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!] [giggles at self], but other wise the sorting, giving/throwing away, packing, getting ready to move goes well. so.
and yous?
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